The Witches' Comet
by UAs-Fics
Summary: Wilde’s Comet only comes around once every forty-five years, and Craig doesn’t want to watch this wonder of nature alone. If his friends don’t want to join in, then he’ll ask the cute cafe owner instead.


from a prompt request by Sillypandalover91 on instagram

"Ah, come on!" Craig held his hands out pleadingly. "You can only see the comet once every forty-five years. We'll be old and grey by the next time it comes around!"

Jimmy set his iced coffee down. "I don't know about you, but I plan to keep l-l-looking this good when I'm in my sixties." He flashed a cocky smile at his friends.

Clyde snorted, punching his shoulder. "I bet you'll be a wrinkled prune by the time you're forty. You already got wrinkles around your eyes."

"Those are what people call ''laugh lines'." Jimmy countered. "They're the sign of a happy life."

Before the two could derail the conversation to another topic, Token cut in.

"We're all sorry, Craig, but Jimmy's the girls' team manager, and Clyde and I can't miss out on this volleyball game, or Nichole and Bebe will never let us out of the dog house." Token explained with a shake of his head.

"You wouldn't be able to understand," Clyde reached over and patted Craig's arm. "You don't have a girlfriend."

Craig rolled his hand off his shoulder. "Why would I want one? After all-"

"Girls have cooties." A new voice joined the conversation. Craig felt his heart momentary stumble in its beat as the reason he continually pushed to come to this cafe over the Harbucks stepped closer to their table.

"That's why I keep to boys," Tweek said as he set a paper bag in front of Clyde. Craig felt a smile spread across his face.

It had been two months since Tweek came to town, and Craig had been steadily working to win his heart. In that time, he's found out the Tweek's family owned the Tweak Bros company and this was their second cafe; if Tweek hadn't dropped out and gotten his GED, he would be a senior like Craig; he had a pet bird and rabbit; he lived alone; and when Tweek laughed his button nose scrunched up and it was among the cutest things Craig had ever seen.

"See? He understands." Craig bobbed his head. "Thank you, Tweek."

Tweek smiled at him. His fingers ghosted across his shoulders as he walked around him to place a to-go cup by Token. Craig thought he would melt into a puddle of gay goo right then and there.

This scene did not go unnoticed by his friends, who smiled knowingly at each other.

"Say, Tweek," Token leaned his elbows on the table, "what do you think about space?"

Craig stiffened up before throwing a warning glare. He had better not be doing what Craig thought he was doing.

"Space, well, I think it's terrifying." Tweek slipped his hands into his apron pockets. "It's huge and vast and cold, and we don't know much about it or what could be out there!"

Craig felt himself deflate. Space had been his favorite subject since he was a child. Hearing his crush describe it like some sort of terrible monster hurt more than he would admit.

"But," Tweek continued, "that is kind of, ya know, comforting. No matter how big my problems are, space is bigger and going to swallow us all up into stardust one day anyway!"

And just like that, Craig's smile took over his face again.

"That's so poetic," he told him. "You're so deep, Tweek."

Tweek smiled right back. "Oh, uh, thanks, Craig!"

"Yeah..." Craig trialed off, staring at the cafe owner.

After moment, just when Tweek looked like he was about to take his leave, Clyde elbowed Craig in the ribs.

"Go on, dude. Ask him to check out the comet with you," He whispered.

Craig swallowed, nodding slightly to him. "Um, hey, Tweek. Did you know there is a comet coming by soon? Its called-"

"The Witches' Comet," Tweek said.

Craig blinked in surprise. He wasn't sure why he had thought that Tweek wouldn't know about the comet. They were friends on Facebook, and Craig had been posting about the comet nearly nonstop.

Clyde raised an eyebrow. "I thought it was called 'Wilde's Comet'?"

"It's called both," Craig explained. "Wilde's Comet is what most people call it, but it's sometimes called The Witches' Comet because apparently it brings a magical boost to spell casters when it's around."

"Wow, t-that's pretty cool," Jimmy said as he pried the lid off his ice coffee. "Too bad this town is a magic deadzone."

"The city the volleyball tournament is in isn't. Maybe we could see if we can get a good luck charm or something before the game." Clyde shoved one of the scones from his to-go bag into his mouth.

"That's called 'cheating,' Clyde." Token pointed out.

"Fine. A charm to help me study for my math test then!" Clyde proclaimed around the raspberry scone.

As his friends began to talk about possible charms and spells they could pick up during the volleyball tournament, Craig turned to Tweek.

"Yeah, so, the comet only comes around once every forty-five years, and I've got a really nice telescope. If you want, we could, you know, go and view it together." Craig hoped he didn't sound like . space-obsessed loser.

Pink danced across Tweeks cheeks. He fiddled with something in his pockets, looking away.

"Oh, that sounds, fun, really fun, but I'm booked this weekend." He smiled sympathetically. "I have a bunch of finance and stock papers to go over with my parents, and that will be an all day ordeal. I'm sorry. I really wish I could."

Craig had to fight to keep his shoulders from slumping forward or his face from falling.

"No, it's cool. I understand. Maybe next time." Craig shrugged.

"Yeah. Definitely next time. " Tweek nodded. He looked towards the growing line at the counter before sighing. "Have a good weekend, you four." With one last apologetic glance at Craig, he headed back towards the front.

Clyde patted his arm. "Heard that? He said 'next time.' You can plan a date this time."

Craig pushed back from the table, throwing his bag over his shoulder. "Yeah, whatever."

With the pitifulled looks of his friends pressing against his back, Craig sulked out of the cafe.

The sky was clear and the air cold. The stars hung against the black void like thousands of little fairy lights, winking and twinkling down at the earth. A perfect backdrop for the comet to dance by in a few hours.

Craig turned his telescope to the moon for a moment, looking at the rocky surface, then began scanning the rest of the sky. A few smaller meteors streaked across the sky in announcement of the coming of Wilde's Comet.

Craig straighten back up with a grin. So what if he'd gotten rejected-sort of-by his crush and he had to watch the comet by himself? He was going to see something he might not ever see again!

He walked back towards his bag to fish out a snack bar. The comet wouldn't arrive for another hour or so, but he was just so excited he set up early. Craig scouted out this forest clearing near the top of a hill nearly three weeks ago. He would come by all the time just to make sure no limbs were growing in a way that might obscure his view or to pick up the beer bottles and chew cans some assholes would occasionally leave.

Chewing the snack bar, Craig put his hands on his hips. This would be an amazing night. His friends were missing out, stuck in the city with all that light pollution. They would barely be able to see the comet's tail, if they could see it at all.

Nothing could ruin this night!

A heartbeat after Craig thought that, a large, cold, wet drop of rain hit him right on his nose. Craig looked up in time to see a churning black cloud roll over the sky. Rain pelted his back as Craig swore. He ran over to his telescope, covering it with his jacket, before pulling it under the safety of the trees.

"What the fuck?" Craig screamed at the sky. The weather reports, all five that he'd checked, had promised clear skies. How could five different meteorologists not see the patterns for a storm coming?

Taking out his phone, Craig tried to pull up his weather app. No bars, of course. He groaned, thrusting his phone in his pocket. Maybe it would clear up if he waited for a little bit. They probably needed the rain anyway. Things had been dry. This was fine. All was good. The storm would move on, and Craig could set back up and-

A loud roll of thunder boomed over head.

"Are you kidding me?!" Craig gritted his teeth. Great. Never mind that plan. Now he had to head home, or at least down to the rest area near Stark's Pond. If this was a thunderstorm, then staying under the trees was too dangerous.

Swearing up a storm of his own, Craig collapsed his telescope and placed it back in his travel bag, then stood and began to march angrily through the woods. The dirt already turned into wet mud that clung to the bottoms of his sneakers. His socks and bottoms of his pants were soaked from the puddles. Because of the rain, the rest of his clothing wasn't too far behind.

Lightning tore across the sky, filling the forest with white light.

He picked up his pace. At this rate, if he didn't get struck by lightning first, he'd be lucky to make it back to the rest area. Perhaps next time he would try to take into account weather anomalies when picking his comet viewing spot.

Craig stepped on a large log, about to push himself up and over it, when he slipped back. With a gasp, he stumbled and fell to his back. His telescope flew from his hand and rolled down a nearby hill.

"Fuck me!" Craig grumbled as he scrambled to his feet. He couldn't leave his telescope out here. It cost nearly half the money he made working at the planetarium last summer. He was not about to let some drifter find it and hock it for booze money.

Craig ran down the hill, sliding on the muddy terrain several times, until he made it to the bottom. He scooped up the telescope and held it close to his chest like a father with his child. As Craig turned, preparing to make his trek back up the hill, a warm glow caught his eye. He froze and stared at it.

A house. It was a house, in the middle of the woods. Welcoming light shone from the windows. Craig frowned. Who would live way out here?

Before Craig could ponder farther, a bolt of lightning struck a tree near the top of the hill. As the tree broke in half and began to fall, Craig made a beeline for the house.

He walked under the awning, thankful to finally be out of the rain. Carefully setting his telescope down by a rocking chair, he then walked up to the front door. He wrapped his knuckles against the door a few times and waited, but no one answered.

Clearly, someone was home. Voices and the clattering of pots and pans came from inside. Craig pressed his lips into a line. Walking in would be rude, but, if he stayed outside any longer, he might get sick.

Praying that this wasn't the house of an axe murderer, Craig slowly opened the door. He kicked off some of the mud from his shoes a moment before he stepped through the threshold.

"Hello?" He called as he shut the door behind him. "It's storming outside and I-wow."

The entire hallway was filled with crystals and plants. Vines crawled along tressels affixed to the walls and planters filled with fragrant herbs hung from the ceiling. Shiny crystals swayed from string or were placed in the pots.

There was only one kind of person who would have a house like this: A witch.

Craig felt his stomach twist. He really shouldn't be here. While all the witches he'd ever actually met had been fairly kind to him, he still couldn't help but remember all the stories of witches eating up children.

But, he wasn't a child. He was a six-foot three-inch grown adult who knocked one of Eric Cartman's molars out last school year. He could handle some witch, if it came down to it.

Stealing a breath, Craig walked forward through the crystals and plant life. Whoever lived there must be short, since he had to duck down in several places to avoid colliding with either a hanging basket or crystal.

"They did this on purpose, I'm telling you!" A voice carried from an open door. "They wanted to see if you'd cast that thunderstorm spell or not.

Craig froze a moment before hot anger filled him. So the storm outside wasn't natural. This witch made it. Probably to ruin everyone's chances of seeing Wilde's Comet.

Filled with a new confidence, Craig marched up towards the door.

Someone in a wide brimmed hat had their back to him. The room, a kitchen best as Craig could tell, was just as crystal- and herb-filled as the hallway. A cast iron pot hung over a roaring fireplace. Jars filled with liquids, leaves, spices, and small rocks covered the table. A bird cage hung in the corner with a green parrot fluttering nervously around inside.

"No! No, this was an accident! They sent it by mistake." A frantic, but somewhat familiar, sounding voice came from the person in the hat.

On the table, an orange rabbit sat, pawing at the some loose peices of paper. The rabbit shook its head.

"I doubt it. Your parents do this shit all the time!" It said. "Also, it says a few marigold flowers."

"Marigold! Marigold, got it!" The witch squawked, spinning on their heels to the left.

Tweek held his hat to his head as he dashed to the cupboard. He threw it open and searched frantically before pulling out a ziplock bag of dried flowers. With his attention fully on his task, he didn't notice Craig standing in the doorway with his mouth a gape.

As Tweek dumped the flowers in to the bubbling liquid, the bird in the corner began to scream, flying around its cage and knocking against the toys hanging inside.

"Ack! Kiwi, calm down!" Tweek cried. "The storm isn't going to get you! Please, be quiet for now!"

"Oh, he's not freaking out about the storm," the rabbit raise its paw and pointed towards Craig. "He's freaking out about the person standing in the doorway."

"WHAT?!" Tweek gasped. He turned and the moment his eyes fell on Craig, the bag fell from his hands. The color drained from his face and his eyes went wide.

"What are you doing here?!" he asked at the same time Craig blurted out, "You're a witch?!"

Both men clamped their mouths shut and just stared at each other.

Backlit by the warm fire light with cable knit sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, Tweek looked soft and so, so warm. Craig fought back the want to run up and nuzzle against him. No matter how amazing and warm his crush looked, Craig was still mad.

"You? You made that storm?" Craig demanded to know, stomping into the kitchen.

"No! I mean, yes! I mean-It was a mistake! I didn't mean for it to happen!" He stammered. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you home? You told me you were watching the comet!"

"I was!" Craig glared. "In a clearing, in the woods. Until this fucking storm ruined all that!"

Tweek stiffen. He swallowed hard. "Shit, fuck, I-I-Craig, I'm so-"

"Tweek! Tweek! It's boiling over!" The rabbit cried, stamping its back paw to get Tweek's attention.

Tweek spun back towards his pot. With a strangled cry, he shoved oven mitts over his hands before hauling the pot off the fire. Ignoring Craig's accusations, Tweek grabbed a small, empty mason jar and began to ladle the liquid inside. He repeated this until four mason jars were filled with a thin, yellow liquid.

"Excuse me!" Tweek held the last jar to his chest as he ran past Craig.

"Hey!" Craig snapped. "Get back here!" He chased him down the hall. Tweek threw open the door and dashed right into the storm. Yelling something in a language Craig didn't know, Tweek tossed up the contents of the jar to the air.

To Craig's amazement, the liquid didn't fall down like the raindrops. Instead, it began to glow a soft yellow and float upwards into the clouds. Tweek's shoulders slumped forward in relief. He walked back towards the porch, setting the mason jar on the rocking chair.

"What was that?" Craig pointed dumbly to the rain.

Tweek wrung his hands together. "Liquid sunshine. It's a spell that can clear away clouds. If I did it right, the storm should stop in an hour." He took a breath then began, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I thought it was a good luck charm but I was wrong and...I'm sorry." He tugged at his sleeve. Taking a lint ball off it, he dropped it to the ground.

Craig ran a hand through his hair. He winced at how wet it was.

"Um, can I have a towel?" He asked. "And can we talk inside?"

"O-Of course!" Tweek nodded.

A few minutes later, Craig sat at Tweek's kitchen table, a towel around his shoulders and a cup of coffee between his palms as Tweek cleaned up the remains of the liquid sunshine. The rabbit shifted through some papers, mumbling to itself. While Tweek let the pot sit full of soapy water, the bird chirped, jumping around.

"So, are the bird and rabbit your familiars?" Craig ventured. He never realized just how little about witches he knew until just then.

Tweek slipped into the seat across from him, a very large mug in his hands. "Kenny is." He gestured to the rabbit. "Kiwi isn't. He's just a normal pet."

"Oh, so, um, can any animal be a familiar? Like, if I was a witch, could I have my guinea pig be mine?"

"Ha, who ever heard of a guinea pig as a familiar." The rabbit, Kenny, laughed.

Tweek ignored Kenny to answer, "Yes, in theory. Familiar studies are complicated, though."

Craig took a sip of his drink, humming in acknowledgement of the fact. Before he could ask another question, Kenny hopped to the middle of the table.

"Ok, I've finished inventory," The rabbit announced. "We finished all the charm spells your parents asked you to: four charms to bring health to the workers, one to bring you good financial luck, and two to keep the cafe safe from those with evil intent."

"Phew," Tweek breathed a sigh in relief.

"I thought this town was a magic dead zone." Craig recalled. "How can you do magic if magic doesn't work here, anyway?"

"It's not really a magic deadzone. It's just magic is harder to do around here. I can only do small spells normally. If not for the comet coming around, I wouldn't have been able to do most of these." Tweek turned his mug around in his hands.

"Yeah, too bad we didn't get to do the one he really wanted to do." Kenny picked up one of the papers between its teeth, turning towards Craig with it.

Craig raised an eyebrow, about to reach for the paper, when Tweek took his hat from his head and slammed it down over the rabbit. Kenny gasped. The paper fell from its mouth and slipped down in front of Craig.

"Ig-ignore him! He's just a rabbit! When it comes to familiars, rabbits are a step above demons and..." Tweek trailed off when he noticed Craig holding the paper in his hand.

"'Luck in Love' A spell to charm an object so that the wearer might have a boost in courage and confidence when speaking with those whom they are smitten.'" Craig read. He felt his cheek start to burn. Could he really hope that Tweek might have been making this spell because he was smitten with him?

Tweek groaned, pulling his hat up to hide his face. Kenny popped out with an impish expression on his face-or as impish as a rabbit could make it. Tweek peeked over the brim of his hat. His ears were bright pink.

"Where you going to use this charm to, um, ask me out or something?" Craig wet his lips. His heart pounded. Please say yes. Please say yes. A yes would make this whole thing worth it.

"I, um, yeah." He mumbled.

Craig let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Oh thank God. You don't know how happy that makes me."

Tweek lowered his hat. "Really? You don't mind I'm a..." He raised his hat up.

Craig shook his head. "What's it matter? Witch or not, you're cute. I like you either way." He leaned across the table, setting his hand over his. "And if you like me back, I get a discount to the planetarium. Do you want to come with me sometime?"

"That would be wonderful." Tweek replied, setting his other hand over the top of Craig's. A warm smile spread across Tweek's face, and once again, Craig was sure he would melt.

If at that moment Craig had walked outside and looked up into the clear sky, he might have be able to see a comet race across the sky behind a few thin, scattered clouds, but in exchange for a couple hours in this cute witch's warm little house, he wouldn't waiting another forty-five years.

 **AN** : Figured I'd cover all my fic posting bases and make an account here.

I already remember why I like Ao3 better...

UAs-Fics on tumblr or UAs_Fics on Archive of Our Own.


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